Robert Conley Buten ... you've heard the stories; you've heard the legends; you know of the adventures; you know of the battles; you think you know it all; you are wrong! Bobby is more than just a man. Bobby is an ideal. Bobby symbolizes everything good we see in ourselves and everything we wish we were. Bobby is all natural. Bobby is that thing you get drinks in when you go through the drive thru at a fast food restaurants. Dare I say it, Bobby, much like Coke, is it. Now it is time to sit back once again and prepare to be educated one more time, for once again it is time to find out ... The History of Bobby!!!

The history of Bobby was pasted down from generation to generation similar to that of other folklore tales from our vast heritage. There was one thing, however, different about the story of Bobby, it was true. Bobby wasn't some fictitious character created by some long haired hippie to provide peace and happiness to his dominions, no, Bobby was a simple man living a simple life. Well, that is as simple a life as the world's greatest lover could live. Bobby was born into a poor peasant family on the shores of the mighty Licking River not long before the death of Elvis. Bobby's birth wasn't any more spectacular than the next superhuman child's except for one thing. When Bobby was born it was believed somewhere in China a short Chinese mariner died of an overdose of good old fashion lovin'. These two events could just be a coincidence but, honestly, how can that be logically explained? Anyway, within the first few months of Bobby's birth many remarkable and miraculous events started to occur. Bobby is credited with none of these events but we here at The History of Bobby Part 2 believe that is only because those darn communists have it in for Bobby! Bobby, being the person he is, quickly forgave the communists, to avoid getting beat up, and moved on to infancy.

Immediately after graduation from High School, Bobby did what any well balanced, promising high school grad would do, he joined the circus. Bobby decided that in the circus, his talents could best be used by being a circus midget. Being the tallest circus midget in his particular circus, Bobby usually drew the most attention so he had to make sure he perfected his art. Bobby spend hours and hours watching films of past circus midgets, studying techniques pasted down for circus midget greats of the past, and other things you just wouldn't understand unless you too were a circus midget. Finally after almost eight years of intense practicing and preparation Bobby made his first public appearance in a circus (before hand he had only been practicing behind closed tents). Bobby's opening night performance was such a success, Bobby knew he could never repeat such a performance. So the next day he moved on, leaving behind the fame, wealth, popularity, and girls that come with being a circus midget. There had to be more challenges out there for Bobby. Not everyone could be a circus midget. Bobby tried his hands at being a zoo keeper but that just didn't thrill Bobby the way being a circus midget had . Plus the girls were more hairier. Bobby quickly quit that job and once again set out to find his true calling, that however will have to wait until ... The History of Bobby Part 3!!!