Episode IV

  The other three bachelorettes, Kelly, Meghan, and Sarah, knew this. They knew they'd be going home soon unless they did something to break up Joe Bug and Ashley. They wanted the million-dollar prize and weren't about to just let Ashley take it without a fight. The girls cooked up an evil plan.

  "You are such a slut Ashley," said Sarah. "I'm surprised you haven't joined Joe Bug on an overnight excursion yet."

  "Give me a break Sarah," said Ashley, "I've showed a little skin, nothing more. I'm not going to sleep with that blob, today or ever."

  "Well you know tonight Joe Bug will be picking one girl to go on the first single date with him," said Kelly. "It's almost certain he'll pick you. I bet if you don't sleep with him afterwards you'll crush him."

  "That's about his speed," said Meghan. "I would say that whoever he picks as the single date pretty much has to sleep with him or get eliminated."

  "Are you guys serious?" said Ashley. "Oh he better not pick me."

  At this stage of the competition there was to be one single date and one more three-girl group date. The single date would be first. Then the following day there would be a group date. That night after the group date, Joe Bug would send two of the remaining girls home, leaving the final two. Joe Bug would get to decide who to take on the single date.

  "So Joe Bug," began Bobby, "have you decided who you want to take on the single date tonight?"

  "Depends," said Joe Bug, "is it another hiking date?"

  "Nope there will be no hiking on tonight's date. Just a romantic date and them some time in the hot tub." said Bobby.

  "The hot tub!!" screamed Joe Bug, "finally something I'm good at. Yeah, I know exactly who I'm going to take. I want Ashley."

  "Okay I will inform the girls of your decision and you will be meeting Ashley at six." said Bobby.

  After Bobby informed the bachelorettes that Ashley had been selected for the final date there was more talking. "Oh my God he picked me," said Ashley.

  "He sure did." said Kelly. "Thank God it wasn't me."

  "You guys really don't think I have to sleep with him tonight," said Ashley, "do you?"

  "Come on Ashley, be real," said Sarah, "you are ending the date in a hot tub. Of course he expects you to sleep with him."

  "If I were you, I'd just screw him in the hot tub." said Meghan. "That way you probably get out of spending the whole night with him."

  "Oh no," began Ashley, "this is horrible. What have I gotten myself into?"

  That night Joe Bug and Ashley met up at six and headed to a fancy, romantic restaurant. At dinner they had a very stimulating conversation. "So what kind of beer do you like?" asked Joe Bug.

  "I'm not really much of a beer drinker," said Ashley, "I prefer the hard stuff."

  "Is that why you've been taking shots all dinner?" asked Joe Bug.

  "No," said Ashley, "there is actually another reason for that. I wanted to make sure I got good and drunk."

  "Cool," said Joe Bug, "I like when girls get drunk. I also like when going to monster truck rallies."

  "Oh God," said Ashley, "waiter may I have another."

  For the first time during the competition, Joe Bug did not eat until he couldn't eat anymore. Usually eating too much made him sleepy and he didn't want to be sleepy tonight. After dinner, the two headed back to the mansion. They were told to get their bathing suits on and meet in the hot tub. As mentioned earlier, Joe Bug didn't have a bathing suit so he just got into the hot tub naked. Ashley came out after a few minutes and slipped into the hot tub with Joe Bug.

  "The water feels nice, doesn't it sweetheart?" said Joe Bug.

  "Yeah, it's like we're in space," said a very drunk Ashley.

  "Not sure I get the space reference," said Joe Bug as he moved over so he was touching up next to Ashley.

  "Um, Joe Bug," began Ashley, "do you have a bathing suit on?"

  "No sugar lips," said Joe Bug, "I'm completely naked in here. Why don't you join me?"

  Going against everything she had ever believed in, Ashley stripped of her bathing suit. She then proceeded to kiss Joe Bug's balding head. This sent Joe Bug over the edge and he jumped on top of her. The two made clumsy love for about three minutes. Afterwards Joe Bug fell asleep in the hot tub while Ashley ran back to the mansion and took a cold shower.

  The next morning Joe Bug awoke in the hot tub. His skin was so wrinkled and water logged that it took him ten minutes to get out of the hot tub. He didn't care though because he had never been happier in this life. The night before he had made love for the first time to the woman of his dreams. Bobby, the host, then greeted him. "So Joe Bug, are you almost ready for your last group date?"

  "I don't want to go on it," said Joe Bug.

  "You don't?" said Bobby. "It's not really an option, but why not?"

  "It would be silly to string those girls along anymore," said Joe Bug. "I've already chosen who I want. I love Ashley."

  "Well I'm sorry Joe Bug," began Bobby, "but you'll just have to go through the motions then. Your group date is about to start."

  For the last group date, Joe Bug would be going with Kelly, Sarah, and Meghan to shop in Lahaina, followed by lunch at Cheeseburger in Paradise, and finally a round of golf. Joe Bug met up with the girls and they headed to Lahaina.

  "I heard you had a pretty interesting night last night," said Meghan.

  "Really?" said Joe Bug, "what did you hear?"

  "Well Ashley said you guys had sex in the hot tub," said Meghan.

  "She told you guys that?" said Joe Bug. "I wouldn't have thought she would be bragging about me already."

  "Well you've already nailed her," said Sarah, "I wonder which one of us lucky ladies will be next."

  "Next?" said Joe Bug, "what do you mean?"

  "Well since you've already had your way with Ashley," said Kelly, "I'd assume you are like any other man and are ready for the next hunt."

  "Sure," interrupted Meghan, "with Ashley it's been there, done that. The three of us are still a mystery though."

  With that the conversation stopped. Suddenly a glint of doubt crept into Joe Bug's head. Why should he stop with Ashley? He'd already had sex with her. What about the other three women? Suddenly Joe Bug's world started to turn upside-down.

  The group headed into Lahaina where they shopped at several clothing and knick-knack stores. The bachelorettes tried on different skimpy bikinis and asked for Joe Bug's approval. With the sight of three other women in tiny bikinis, Joe Bug forgot all about Ashley.

  After shopping they headed over to the restaurant Cheeseburger in Paradise. There Joe Bug got the largest burger any of them had ever seen. After lunch the women waited around for an hour while Joe Bug used the onsite facilities.

  Next it was time for a round of golf. Joe Bug had never played golf before but loved driving around in the golf cart. After the first few holes, Joe Bug decided it was too much work and just stayed in the cart while the bachelorettes played through.

  After golf they all headed back to the mansion. "Well today was a fun day," said Kelly, "wasn't it Joe Bug?"

  "Yeah, it was but tonight should be even more fun," said Joe Bug.

  "Really, what do you have planned for tonight?" asked Sarah.

  "Ashley is going to come over to the guesthouse for a visit," said Joe Bug.

  "Is she really?" said Meghan.

  When the reached the mansion the bachelorettes and Joe Bug went their separate ways. Ashley was waiting for the other three women. "So how was your date?" asked Ashley.

  "It wasn't the worst one I've been on so far," said Kelly.

  "Plus it didn't end by any of us having to sleep with Joe Bug." said Meghan.

  "I still can't believe I did that," said Ashley. "I wonder if he is expecting me to come over to tonight?"

  "No he's not," said Sarah. "He was telling us how he hoped you wouldn't come over because he was worried things were moving too fast."

  "Thank God." said Ashley. She didn't really believe that Joe Bug would say something like that. It would be totally out of character for him. However any excuse, even a bad one, was good enough for Ashley to keep her away.

  Meanwhile Joe Bug stayed up half the night waiting for Ashley to come. When she didn't he became very angry. The next day was the rose ceremony and Ashley would pay for using Joe Bug the way she did.

  The next morning Bobby gathered the remaining four women. Today Joe Bug would send two more women home leaving the final two. "Welcome ladies." said Bobby, "Joe Bug would you do the honor."

  "Sure." said Joe Bug. "The first rose goes to Meghan. The other rose goes to Sarah."

  The room was silent as all eyes fell upon Ashley. Suddenly she screamed, "You mother f**ker! How the f**k did you not pick me? I f**king slept with your fat f**king ass and you don't f**king pick me! F**k you! F**k this! I am f**cking out of here." With that Ashley stormed off into the sunset.

  "Okay," began Bobby, "that means Kelly and Ashley are going home. Sarah and Meghan you are the final two. One of you will be the future Mrs. Bug. Good luck."

  "You're fired!" said Joe Bug.