Joe Bug's Journal
This has been a pretty wild ride from the start. I finally got to meet all the ladies after months of looking forward to this. I think they were all pretty impressed by me. When we were first introduced I could tell from the expressions on some of their faces that I was better than advertised. I am pretty good at reading women and these women loved me.
After introductions I had to leave. This sucked because now that I had met the ladies I wanted to spend some time with them. Pretty much all of them were hot except the one they call Jacko who turned me off from the start. I was taken back to the guesthouse and told to get ready. I figured that since this was a big night I should dress really nice and grabbed by best plaid shirt.
When I got to the dinner party all the ladies came running at me. I think they all wanted a piece of the Joe Bug. We really didn't talk about anything interesting. For the most part they kept asking me lame stuff like what I did for a living. Who cares what I do, I'm the freakin' Joe Bug Bachelor! I tried to talk about sex because I've read in magazines that if you can steer conversation toward sex you have a lot better chance of getting laid. This didn't work though because as soon as I'd bring up sex they'd start blabbering about their cat or something equally stupid. There was one girl, Ashley, who took me aside and told me she loved orgies. That really made an impression. No way I'll send her home until that's explored some more.
After the party I headed back to the guesthouse. I had dropped some hints throughout the night that I was lonely there and could use some company. None of them must have picked up on these hints because I spend the night alone. You'd think with sixteen women there'd be at least one that wasn't a complete idiot. That's women for you though.
The next day I had to decide which nine of the women I wanted to keep around. I decided instead of choosing whom I wanted I would first eliminate whom I didn't want. First I counted out Jacko. That she-male wasn't going to be spending any nights in my bed. Next I got rid of Beyonce and Halle. Call me old fashion but I just don't see myself with a black girl. Next I got rid of the Jennifers. They were both pretty hot but they had the same name. Some might think that's a stupid reason for eliminating them but those people are ignorant. Those were really the only people I wanted to eliminate. That left me with eleven girls. I finally decided to lose Alyssa because I think Alyssa is a fat girl name. I have enough fat that I don't need a wife who is going to be ballooning up on me. The last ax fell on Charisma. That pick was pretty random.
I met with Bobby and we handed out the roses. The seven women that were sent packing seemed pretty sad. I guess they knew that their one chance at a real man was over. Oh well, now the dates will be starting up. I am pretty pumped about those. I hope they all involve a hot tub.