Week 11

Luck Be A Lady Tonight
  With Meghan being voted off in week four there was one certainty about the Survivor winner, it would be a man. No woman had ever won a Bobopolis Surivior and it wasn't going to happen this time either.
  "You know," began Stephen, "Meghan used us, was always b*tchy, and started smelling there near the end but I think I am still going to miss her."
  "I know what you mean." said Demoss. "I mean obviously I am going to have to start back up crankin' again but that isn't the only thing I am going to miss about Meghan."
  "I will miss Meghan too." said Bert. "We never really talked much and since I am married we didn't do much anything else either. Actually I don't think I will miss Meghan at all."
  "She was the last girl though." said Demoss.
  "Yeah that whole lack of chick thing sucks." said Stephen. "They should have had more to start with."
  "Freakin slim pickins!" said Demoss.
  "Oh well," said Bert. "Look at it this way, if there would have been more girls, hmm, actually I don't have any point to make on the subject. I am going to go run some."

Return of the Mack
  While Bert was making on of his usual runs around the island he passed by the old Chiz temple. Today though Bert saw something moving through the door. Bert assumed it must be a monkey or something but was very surprised when he popped in. "Oh my God!" said Bert. "Is that you Chiz?"
  "Hey how are you?" said Chiz. "I should remember your name but.."
  "My name is, my name is, my name is Bert!" sang Bert. "Where have you been for the last few months?"
  "I went back in the woods looking for us all some food and got lost." said Chiz. "I wondered around for a while and then met this half human half chimp guy called Phillip. He was married to another chimp who he got pregnant accidentally. I stayed with them for a while. Then I decided to look for you guys some more and I found this shelter and have been staying here."
  "Wow, that is an amazing story." said Bert. "This is your temple."
  "My temple?" said Chiz.
  "Yeah, Gwedo built it for you but he is dead." said Bert.
  "Bummer." said Chiz.
  "Oh and you were voted off the island in week three." said Bert.
  "Man do you have any good news?" said Chiz.
  "Come with me back to camp." said Bert. "Though when Kristine comes around you better hide or something or she'll probably kick you off the island since you were voted off."
  "Okay." said Chiz. "I will use the shadows to hide me."

Chiz's Reflections
"So now I am back with the others after having been away for about eight weeks. I feel great, really refreshed. My time in the woods with the chimps made me have a better appreciation for civilized life. Not that the chimps weren't somewhat civil. The talking one who called himself Phillip wore a space helmet. The question now is how long will I last on the island now that I am back in eye sight. I am thinking if I stay out of the sight of the people in charge I can stick around a few more weeks. I can't win I guess since I was already voted off but I think I can play a factor on who does. Like this Bert guy who found me. He seems like a good guy. I wouldn't mind seeing him win. I just met Stephen and Demoss. I didn't really get to know them my first three weeks so I will have to get to know them more before I make a decision on them. Then there is Gwedo. What is the deal there? I go missing for a few days and I get voted off but Gwedo has been dead for who knows how long and he is still around. They must have really liked him. He seemed nice but the whole building a temple for me make me wonder a little. Well it is good to be back."

Night At The Movies
  The second day of the week brought Kristine with another reward challenge. "Good Afternoon Bert, Demoss, Stephen," began Kristine, "you guys haven't seen Chiz have you? We think he is back and we need to remove him from the island."
  "Nope, haven't seen him." said Demoss.
  "Well if you do give me a call." said Kristine. "This week's challenge has a movie theme. The prize will be a bit part in the next Juicy Raoul movie. You'll probably play a git or something. The game is a round of the Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon."
  "I am going to suck at this." said Bert.
  "You will each be given a person, whoever can connect their person to Kevin Bacon in the least number of steps wins." said Kristine. "Here are your people: Stephen you have Pee Wee Herman, Demoss you have Big Bird, Gwedo you have Dirk Diggler, and Bert you have John Lithgow."
  "Okay I will got first," said Stephen, "Pee Wee is in Midnight Madness with that Stephen Furst, who is in Dream Team with Micheal Keaton, who is in Batman with Jack Nicklson, who is in A Few Good Men with Kevin Bacon. There I did it in four. Beat that!"
  "My turn," said Demoss, "Big Bird is in Follow that Bird with John Candy who is in Planes, Traines, and Automobiles with Kevin Bacon. That is two, Ha Ha."
  "Who the Hell is John Lithgow?" asked Bert.
  "He is that guy in 3rd Rock." said Stephen, "he is in Footloose too."
  "Hey I saw that movie." said Bert. "That is the one where Kevin Bacon wants to dance, wait, they are in a movie together, so I just did it in one! I win!"
  "Good going." said Demoss looking at Stephen.
  So Bert won the challenge and would get the right to appear in the next Juicy Raoul film, Juicy Raoul: The Revenge.

In Confidence
  "Chiz come here." said Demoss.
  "Yeah, what is it?" said Chiz.
  "I need to ask your advice on something." said Demoss. "You seem like the best person to ask since you have already been voted off and aren't a part of this competition anymore."
  "Shoot." said Chiz.
  "Well I need to think of a way to get Bert to vote for Stephen this week so we can get him off the island and I can win." said Demoss.
  "Wait, if you get Stephen off how do you know you will still win, what about Bert?" said Chiz.
  "Well the other day I pretended Gwedo was alive and well to make a long story short," said Demoss, "I got Bert to believe that it is my destiny to win so he won't vote for me."
  "That was pretty mean using Gwedo like that." said Chiz.
  "That's okay he's dead." said Demoss. "So you got an idea on how I can get Bert to vote for Stephen?"
  "Sorry dude." said Chiz, "if I was that smart I would have lasted past week three."

Carpet Diem
  "Hey Bert, what is carpet diem?" said Stephen.
  "Carpet diem?" said Bert. "I am not sure where did you hear it?"
  "It was in that one movie with Robin Williams where the guy stands on the chair." said Stephen.
  "I don't think I saw that one." said Bert. "I saw Miss Doubtfire though."
  "No this is a different one." said Stephen. "They say carpet diem in it and I forget what it means."
  "Maybe it is a kind of carpet like stainmaster or something." said Bert
  "Hmm, it could be." Stephen.
  "Maybe it is code for no carpet." said Bert. "Maybe that is why the guy is standing on the chair."
  "Yeah, I be that is it." said Stephen. "Cool thanks. We kind of have a carpet diem here on the island since there isn't any carpet."
  "Yeah we do." said Bert. "Carpet Diem!"

Gwedo Speaks From Beyond The Grave
"I know what you are thinking, isn't Gwedo dead? Well I am in fact dead. I died a few weeks ago when Jacob, the stupid mother f*cker, shot me while I was exposing how evil he was to the world. I am able to communicate though through one of those fortune teller people. The magic of modern science. Anyway I wanted to let everyone know that the afterlife isn't too bad. It isn't anything like Beetlejuice at all though. I really don't know how to explain it so I won't. If you wanna know for yourself then just kill yourself and I will see you in a little bit. I would like to say that even though I am dead I think I got a good chance of winning this Survivor. I didn't actually survive but that really doesn't have anything to do with it. What matters is I haven't been voted off yet. I wish they would let me vote but they said that unless I can use my own body in the voting process. Oh well, I gotta get going, still haven't found Chiz up her yet. Later."

Bored
  "Hey what you guys doing?" asked Bert.
  "Nothing." said Stephen.
  "Me neither." said Bert. "I have been exercising and stuff but I am starting to get a little bored."
  "Join the club." said Demoss. "There is nothing to do here."
  "Where did Chiz go?" asked Bert.
  "He was getting scared since it is voting time soon so he went to hide in the woods." said Demoss.
  "Probably a good thing." said Bert. "It is nice having him around. A fresh face."
  "I miss Meghan." said Stephen.
  "I miss my wife." said Bert.
  "I miss the pot." said Demoss.
  "Oh well, I think I will take a nap until it is time to vote." said Stephen.

The Vote
  On the third day came the vote. Since Gwedo was dead there were now only three people casting votes. Here are a few survivors telling who they voted for and why.
Demoss: I voted for Stephen. He is really my only competition so if he leaves this week then I think I have a good chance of winning.
Stephen: I voted for Gwedo. Bert and Demoss have become really good friends of mine and I didn't want to vote for either and that leaves only Gwedo.
Bert: I voted for Gwedo. He is still dead and I am going to keep voting for him until he finally gets removed from the island. Also that coming alive thing still freaks me out.
  And with that vote, Gwedo was carted from the island. For complete voting results see the voting page. See you again next week.