Week 5

High on Life
  Ever since being shown the secret stash of Marijuana Demoss had pretty much spend the majority of the time high. The best thing was Meghan didn't seem to be bothering him anymore. The first few weeks on the island she was always around but lately she hadn't been around much. When Demoss first got to the island he was immediately attracted to Julie. However he could never make a move because Meghan was always around. Now Meghan was gone so the door was open for some macking. However Julie seemed to be somewhat interested in Stephen. Something needed to be done about that. Stephen was also seemingly involved with Meghan. If this was the case maybe Demoss could set up something so he could get Julie and leave Meghan for Stephen. Maybe.

The Scheme
  "Okay, I have been giving this a lot of thought." said Jacob. "I know a sure fire way to get Stephen voted off the island this week."
  "Thank God." said Mark. "The sooner we get rid of that slacker the better. So what is you plan."
  "Well for a day or two now I have been collecting my own sh*t." said Jacob.
  "Freak Nasty!" said Mark. "Why on Earth would you do that?"
  "I am going to wake up tomorrow night while everyone is sleeping and go get my stash." said Jacob. "Then I am going to come and pile it on Stephen's a*s while he is sleeping. When he wakes up everyone will think he sh*t his pants and he will be voted off for sure."
  "Jake, I am sorry." said Mark, "but that plan is gross out. I gotta go, talk to you later."

Demoss's Reflections
"Well how do you do? Excuse me, I am a little messed up right now. All this pot I've been smoking is starting to affect my head. Maybe I should stop. No wait, if I stopped then I would have to face the reality that I am on an island with a bunch of losers. No, I will just stay high. This really hasn't been what I thought it would. When I am clean and sober I am usually bored. I don't really have anything in common with most of these people. I like Cool Moby but he is usually hanging out with that skinny exercise guy Bert. Jacob is an a*s. Mark and Stephen haven't been very friendly either. Who I do like is Julie. I haven't really talked to her much cause I am usually off getting high but I wouldn't mind getting to know her better. Though, I probably won't make the first move. She should be able to see what a specimen of pure man I am and be drawn to me. I wonder what is taking her so long. Who knows. Who cares really."

The Centafont Challenge
  On the second day of the week Kristine returned for that week's challenge. "Hello peoples," said Kristine, "this week's challenge goes by many names; dizzy bat, the Centafont Spin, or X22 Homerun Derby. Whatever you want to call it, the point of the game is to run down and pick up the baseball bat laying there, set it upright, bend over and put your forehead on it and spin 40 times and then run back. It seems pretty easy but let me warn you, you will get dizzy."
  "I played this once at a company picnic. I kick a*s at this game." said Desmond.
  "Today's reward for the winner of the challenge will be a $10 gift certificate to the Mexican restaurant Tippys." continued Kristine. "So are we all ready?"
  The survivors all lined up and the race began. Bert was the first one to the bat and started spinning madly. By the time Jacob got to his bat he saw Bert had already gone around 20 times so he just picked up his bat and whaled on Bert. They were both disqualified. The next closed to finishing was Julie but she passed out after 30 turns. Desmond, by pacing himself, was able to pull out the victory and win the gift certificate.
  "Congratulations Desmond." said Kristine. "Now you can get yourself a yummy Sunken Bean Burrito at Tippys."
  "Crise!" said Desmond. "Tippy's reaks!"

Cat Fight
  As the second day dragged on, Desmond was growing bored so he decided to do something mischievous to pass the time. "Hey Julie, come here." said Desmond.
  "Yeah Desmond?" said Julie.
  "You and Stephen got something going on don't you?" said Desmond.
  "Yeah we do." said Julie. "I think he may be the one."
  "Really?" said Desmond. "Do you know where he is now?"
  "Actually no, I haven't seen him in about an hour." said Julie.
  "Follow me." said Desmond.
  The two started back into the woods. In no time the reached the spot where, the spot where, well, lets just say Stephen and Meghan were playing house, naked. "What is the mother f*ck is going on here."
  "What do you think b*tch?" said Meghan.
  With that Julie reached over and grabbed a hold of Meghan's hair. Meghan then punched Julie in the stomach and the battle was on. Stephen quickly ran for cover while Desmond just stood, watched, and enjoyed the action. That was the last time Stephen went into the woods with dirty things on his mind.

Number Two
  It was the night of the second day and Jacob was ready to put his evil plan into effect. Everyone went to bed, just as planned, and then Jacob woke up. He slipped back to where he had been storing his poop and gathered it up and took it back to the tent. When he reached the tent he realized that he hadn't taken note as to where Stephen was sleeping. It was too dark to see so Jacob just guessed at where he thought Stephen slept. Jacob cleaned up and went back to bed. The next morning everyone got an eyeful. "Oh my God!" said Meghan "Mark sh*t his pants."
  "What?" said Mark "Holy Sh*t!"
  "Mark you nasty b*stard!" said Desmond. "Get away from me!"
  "No, you guys got this all wrong. Jacob did this. I didn't do this!" said Mark. "Look there is no sh*t in my pants."
  Mark then dropped his pants and everyone got an eyeful. Jacob slowly slipped out of site and Mark ran to the ocean to clean up. The plan hadn't gone according to plans at all.

Mark Defends Himself
"I cannot believe this sh*t. How could Jacob do this to me? All this time I thought we had a common goal to get rid of Stephen and now he goes and f*cks me like this. I bet he and Stephen did this together. That really p*sses me off. I betcha they vote me off this week now. They should vote off Jacob. It was his fault. Or why don't they vote off Gwedo? That little freak and his Chiz temple. To Hell with them if they do vote me off. I don't give a sh*t. I know where JB was coming from now when he was acting like he was better than everyone here. He probably was. It isn't like there was much competition. I hope all these people die after they vote me off. Hell maybe this is like Jurassic Park and all the dinosaurs will come eat them. I bet that is it. I am like Newman and I am going to put the embryos in the shaving cream. That's it. That's what I'll do. Screw all these dorks."

Love Is In The Air
  "Hey Demoss." said Julie.
  "Hey Julie, what's up?" said Demoss.
  "I am all messed up." said Julie. "I came here with the hopes of having a good time and now I am miserable. First I lost my dogs. Now I find out Stephen has been cheating on me. I am a mess."
  "I know what you mean." said Demoss, "It sucks here."
  "Really?" said Julie, "you think so? That is so refreshing to hear. I was just talking to Bert and Cool Moby and they were going on and on about how great it is here and I was beginning to think I was alone."
  "No Julie Bean," said Demoss, "you certainly aren't alone."
  "You are so sweet." said Julie. "I wonder why I haven't talked to you much before."
  "I was beginning to wonder that myself." said Demoss.
  "I am so glad I am done with Stephen." said Julie. "Spending all my time with him didn't allow me time to get to know any of the other people here."
  "True." said Demoss, "so you wanna go back into the woods?"
  "Hell, why not!" said Julie. "Let's go!"

The Vote
  The fifth week ended in a similar fashion to the previous weeks, everyone voted to kick someone off the island. Now before you get the wrong idea, on Bobopolis Survivor there is no gay tribal council. No, instead there is a fax machine set up and every one just fills out a questionnaire saying who they are voting for and why. That tribal council thing was just too hooky. Here are a few survivors telling who they voted for and why.
Julie: I voted for Meghan. The b*tch was messing with my man at the time. Thank God I have Demoss to console me or who knows where I'd be.
Bert: I voted for Jacob. I had the challenge won this week until Jacob cheated and got us both disqualified.
Gwedo: I voted for Mark. He came to my Chiz mass and then had the nerve to interrupt it. Then he called me and the great Chiz freaks. Mark has got to go.
Demoss: I voted for Mark. I voted for Mark because he sh*t himself in his sleep.
Stephen: I voted for Mark. He has been mean to me from day one. I never did anything to him but he constantly makes fun of me and is cruel. This island will be such a better place once Mark is off it.
  And with that vote, Mark was removed from the island, cussing and fussing. For complete voting results see the results page. See you again next week.