Episode 2 Days 2 & 3

JB & the Girls   Jof leads Chinsey, Elfin, and Demoss away to the other side of the island followed by four of the ghouls. The remaining four ghouls approach JB and the girls. "Hi ladies," says Stephen Centaur, "in case you don't remember my name is Stephen Centaur and I would .."   "I don't mean to be rude," interrupts Jodi, "but if you are coming over to us trying to hook up then you are wasting your time. You guys are freaknasty Hell beasts and we don't want to have anything to do with you."   "So what you are saying," begins Booga-Bert, "is that Jof hasn't told you about the dates yet."   "What dates?" asks Jodi.   "Did you guys not watch Temptation Island at all?" returns Booga-Bert. "You guys have to go out on dates with us. That way you get to know us better and there is a better chance for a hook up."   "I am not going on a date with any of you." barks Jodi.   "I don't believe you have an option blonde," laughs Bad Josh.   "I, for one, am excited about getting to know you fellows more." says JB.

The Other Side of the Island   Over on the other side of the island the guys were having their first encounters with the ghouls they'd be spending the next three weeks with. "So are you really a vampire?" asks Chinsey.   "Sure am," returns Count Desmondula, "have been for a while now."   "I don't know," says Chinsey, "I always thought vampires were fake."   "I could prove it to you that I am a vampire," says Count Desmondula, "but I would have to kill you."   "No," interrupts Ghost Bug, "we aren't allowed to kill any of them."   "That bites," respond Count Desmondula.   "So two headed thing," says Demoss, "what is your story?"   "My name is Elizagreth," says Elizagretch, "I use to be siamese twins but then a bolt of lightning made me one person."   "That must of sucked," returns Demoss, "so did you keep more the thoughts and memories of one person over the other?"   "No, I pretty much just turned evil." returns Elizagretch.

The First Night   The day progresses for the contestants on both sides of the island. They learn that tomorrow they will each be going on a date with one of the ghouls on their side of the island. The dates are not optional and they don't get to pick who they go out with on this first date. The two groups spend their second day on the island very differently. The girls, refusing to talk with the ghouls, go into their cabin early and stay there. The guys on the other hand chat with the ghouls about Hell and take advantage of the free beer. "So is Hell as really as bad as people say?" asks Demoss.   "Depends on who you talk to." answers Zombie Kristine. "For a Zombie it really isn't a bad place. There are a lot of people down there and Satan lets us usually eat all the brains we want. Sometimes when he is torturing someone, he will bring one of us in just to eat out their brains."   "Interesting," says Demoss, "so Hell isn't really that bad for all creatures, just people."   "I know the idea here is for us to get you guys to kill yourselves," beings Zombie Kristine, "but between you and I, I wouldn't want to go to Hell as a human. No I would try to turn into a zombie or ghost first."   "I plan on going to Heaven anyway so it doesn't really matter." says Demoss.   "I'm going to be honest with you," returns Zombie Kristine, "unless you've seen every episode of Twin Peaks you probably aren't going to make it up their. Apparently God is a big David Lynch fan."   "Hey Demoss," says Chinsey, "Elfin and I are going to hit the sack. It is getting late."   "Cool," says Demoss, "I'll be in a minute."

Demoss   On each side of the island there is a confessional booth set up for the contestants to go speak their mind. This gives them better piece of mind and allows an insight into their thinking.   "Well," says Demoss, "my feelings on this whole situation have been flip flopping all over the place. First I was pretty upset about being brought here against my will. Then I was a little excited after I found out I couldn't be harmed. Now I am just confused. I've just spend most of the afternoon and evening talking with one of the ghouls named Zombie Kristine. She seems to be a real nice person, um I mean zombie. However she is constantly puking and the smell makes me sick. Now don't get me wrong, I don't have any feeling for this zombie and it isn't cause I have feeling for Jodi either. Now tomorrow we have dates. I don't know if I want to go out with Zombie Kristine or not. I really haven't spoken to any of the other ghouls so I would like to get to know them. There is just something special about Zombie Kristine. Oh well, I am going to bed."

Day 3

The First Dates   Early the next morning everyone is once again awoken by the sound of screams. Unlike the previous morning no one comes running out of their cabin in fear. When they do finally come out of their cabin each contestant sees a large bulletin board listing today's first dates. The guy's board reads "Demoss - Zombie Kristine, Chinsey - Elizagretch, Elifn - Count Desmondula." The girl's board reads "Lydia - Stephen Centaur, Jodi - Markenstein, JB - Booga-Bert."

Elfin and Count Desmondula's First Date   "Great!" says Elfin, "I am assuming I am stuck with a guy date cause everyone still thinks I am gay!"   "Settle down Dwarfin," returns Count Desmondula, "we are ghouls. We are suppose to get you to kill yourself, not make out with you."   "My name is not Dwarfin, it is Elfin!" barks Elfin, "I don't want to go out on a date with you."   "To late dude," returns Count Desmondula.   Elfin then realizes that everyone else is gone and he is alone with Count Desmondula in a strange place. "How did we get here?" ask Elfin.   "Jof says this game doesn't have the budget for travel, so on dates we are just going to be magically transported to a place for our date." answers Count Desmondula.   "How on Earth ..." mumbles Elfin.   "Never underestimate the powers of the dark side." returns Count Desmondula. "Now for our date, what would you like to drink?"   "I don't care." says Elfin.   "Okay," says Count Desmondula. "Waiter, can we have two blood cocktails."   "Blood?" yells Elfin, "that is gross. Crise this sucks!"   "Sucks for you?" says Count Desmondula, "how do you think I feel having to put up with your lame ass?"

JB and Booga-Bert's First Date   "So Bert," says JB, "can I call you Bert?"   "No call me Booga-Bert." returns Booga-Bert.   "Whatever," says JB, "I was wondering what a boogey man goes for fun?"   "I like to ride my bike." returns Booga-Bert.   "Really?" says JB, "I use to ride all the time myself but then I read it can cause impedance so I stopped. I mean I do want children."   "Yeah dude whatever," says Booga-Bert, "so you wanna kill yourself and go to Hell?"   "About that," says JB, "I was thinking about it but I think I am going to have to pass."   "Okay then, dates over." says Booga-Bert.   "Oh come on," whines JB, "just cause I won't put out on the first date doesn't mean you have to be all testy!"

Chinsey and Elizagretch's First Date   "So you were actually two people until you were hit by lightning?" asks Chinsey.   "Kinda," returns Elizagretch, "I was more one and a half people and now I am just one."   "With two heads." finishes Chinsey.   "Of course," says Elizagretch, "so tell me, how serious are you and Lydia?"   "Pretty serious," says Chinsey, "two nights ago, on our last night together, I asked her to marry me."   "Really?" says Elizagretch "what did she say?"   "She said yes!" says Chinsey, "well as long as we both survive this. We obviously won't be getting married if one of us dies, but I really doubt that'll happen."   "You never know," begins Elizagretch, "they got Stephen Centaur over there and he is quite the ladies horse."

Lydia and Stephen Centaur's First Date   "You know Stephen Centaur," begins Lydia, "you really are an attractive man, from the waste up. That horse's ass though is really nasty."   "You think that's bad you should see the horse shit that comes out of that thing." returns Stephen Centaur.   "Cute and funny," returns Lydia, "I bet you have to beat the female centaurs off with a stick."   "Well," returns Stephen Centaur, "I don't really fit in with the other centaurs. Usually I just date witches."   "Whoever you end up with I am sure you will make them happy." says Lydia. "Not as happy as my Chinsey makes me, though, no one could be that happy."   "You are a nice girl Lydia," says Stephen Centaur, "I usually don't let people do this but if you'd like I will talk you horseback riding."   "That sounds fun." says Lydia.   "Okay, climb onto my back." says Stephen Centaur.

Quotes from Next Week's All New Temptation Island of Death   "You are kidding me, Jof?" says Demoss, "that spooky dude who is behind this whole mess?"   "Jof is bad." says Markenstein.   "It's a surprise baby," says Bad Josh, "it's a surprise!"